EPISODE 13
Now to get to how I discovered my mother’s side of the family. Again, my brother Bill managed to help me get this information – at least a last name. After doing some research, we found it could be one of four women. Again, I put out feelers on the internet and another forum turned up a reply from a daughter of a cousin. She was a lovely young lady who said she was sure her parents wouldn’t mind if I contacted them. I asked her to pave the way for me and to send them my email. I got a reply right away and my cousin told me his father kept in touch with my mother and said her name and that he would talk to his father. Emails back and forth some more and(I believe he was my uncle) got in touch and told me about my birth mother.
He put us in touch and she wrote to me and called. She and I continued to correspond for close to a year, but it was difficult for her to let anyone know about me and couldn’t talk when other people were around. I understood, but it was difficult to feel like a dirty little secret, so I regretfully wrote her and told her about these feelings and that I would respect her privacy if that’s what she wanted. I’m sure it was a strain on her too. I never heard from her again, but the others DID keep in touch. My birth mother had Alzheimer’s, they told me.
A strange fact (for me, at least) is that this family lived in the same town as I grew up in, and also my brother Bill from my birth father’s side. Musta been something in the water.
I have done the family tree for my birth mother’s side of the family. We are Dutch and go back to France, Belgium, and the Plantagenets in England. I will tell you a couple of interesting stories that resulted from that search next time.
He put us in touch and she wrote to me and called. She and I continued to correspond for close to a year, but it was difficult for her to let anyone know about me and couldn’t talk when other people were around. I understood, but it was difficult to feel like a dirty little secret, so I regretfully wrote her and told her about these feelings and that I would respect her privacy if that’s what she wanted. I’m sure it was a strain on her too. I never heard from her again, but the others DID keep in touch. My birth mother had Alzheimer’s, they told me.
A strange fact (for me, at least) is that this family lived in the same town as I grew up in, and also my brother Bill from my birth father’s side. Musta been something in the water.
I have done the family tree for my birth mother’s side of the family. We are Dutch and go back to France, Belgium, and the Plantagenets in England. I will tell you a couple of interesting stories that resulted from that search next time.
EPISODE 12 REUNION AND ROSE
A single artificial rose. That’s all it was, but it meant a lot to me. My sister was holding it – plus a big grin on her face. I heard her say, “There she is!!” and she came running to hug me. Then there was my brother with another hug, and a nephew, who I didn’t know was coming to meet me too. He was a tall drink of water and was smiling just as much, or more, than the other two. My chatty sister and my chatty self started walking and chatting and the two fellas helped with my large bag and then with my checked baggage. We just kind of fell into step, you know? We all piled into a truck and headed for Taber, a small town about half an hour from Lethbridge. We passed fields and farms, but I just gave them a passing glance. I don’t remember what we talked about, but we talked and talked – at least my sister and I did, while the boys in the back seat interjected once in awhile. My sister had so much to tell me and it was like she wanted to tell me everything before we got to Taber. 
So now I’ve met 2 brother’s (one in Ontario and one in Alberta), two sisters, (also one in Ontario and one in Alberta) and a nephew. In the next three years, while I lived in Taber, I would meet another nephew, another sister in another town in Alberta, and see some others from New Brunswick via Facebook. I think, altogether, there are 16 of us (or is it 19?). Bill came to Alberta for a week’s visit and we had the opportunity to see our father’s grave in the Field of Honor in Brooks, Alberta. Last year, I moved to Lethbridge where my specialists were located and I had access to more seniors’ programs and more interesting places to walk. Next, I will tell you how I met my birth mother’s family.
So now I’ve met 2 brother’s (one in Ontario and one in Alberta), two sisters, (also one in Ontario and one in Alberta) and a nephew. In the next three years, while I lived in Taber, I would meet another nephew, another sister in another town in Alberta, and see some others from New Brunswick via Facebook. I think, altogether, there are 16 of us (or is it 19?). Bill came to Alberta for a week’s visit and we had the opportunity to see our father’s grave in the Field of Honor in Brooks, Alberta. Last year, I moved to Lethbridge where my specialists were located and I had access to more seniors’ programs and more interesting places to walk. Next, I will tell you how I met my birth mother’s family.EPISODE 11 FLYING HIGH
They called my flight. My baggage had already been put on the plane for the second lag of my flight. I was in the Calgary airport and heading to Lethbridge. My first sight of the plane was breathtaking: that movie with Mel Gibson flying a small, dangerous plane came into my head. This was like a six-seater with a bit of rust on one wing. I was excited to be out of the terminal and on my way. It would be a short flight (about 20 minutes, as I recall) and then I would be seeing my brother and sister for the first time. As we boarded the plane, we were greeted by pilot and co-pilot and any trepidation I had vanished. These guys were handsome! Gave me a sense of being in good hands (so to speak). After we were all seated, the pilot told us that, if we wanted, after we were in the air, we could come up front and see what they do. Personally, I wasn’t moving an inch from where I sat and my seatbelt would remain firmly attached. There was a lady across the aisle from me who flew this route all the time and she had reassured me it was safe. After all that security at the Montreal and Calgary airports, this was refreshing. We could see into the cockpit and through the front window. This flight was much more exciting than the last: There were patchwork fields of all colors and wispy clouds that we could see through. Then we were descending – no – we were on the ground! Apparently we had a good tailwind, according to the pilot as he and his copilot helped us down from the plane. Then the long walk into the Lethbridge airport. Long for me because, all of a sudden, I was scared. No flight in a small aircraft could make me this scared. What if they didn’t like me?
A FORTUNATE TURN OF EVENTS
Something exciting has happened! My blog partner (and cousin I found through doing genealogy on my birth family) for www.mccawscometolife.blogspot.com has found a publisher for his memoirs! We’ve been Skyping back and forth this morning ironing out details and celebrating. I guess now we can each consider ourselves writers. There is also a magazine interested in articles we have sent. (Can’t say yet until it’s published – might jinx it). You’ll be the first to know, dear readers. I promise another episode in my story tomorrow. Happy reading!
CONNECTING
Another genealogy tip: if you are an ancestry.com user, don’t forget to check your messages. I keep forgetting and today I remembered. Found a message from someone who turned out to be connected to my tree 6 generations back and he has information for me and vice versa. Detective work on both sides will produce not only information, but perhaps a new friendship. That’s what happened with my co-author of www.mccawscometolife.blogspot.com and me. We are fifth cousins and, over the last year, have become friends with mutual respect. Just one more example of how doing one’s family history can lead to adventures….friends, blogs, published material, and, of course, the thrill of chasing down leads or getting past that brick wall when someone in your tree seems to have vanished into thin air. That “EUREKA _ I”VE FOUND IT” moment is priceless. Even more so when I see it in other people who I help. It’s like prospecting and the gold is knowing that someone in your bloodline will not be forgotten.
EPISODE 10 CHECKED BAGGAGE
What do YOU put in your 2 allowed pieces of checked baggage? I put all my favorite books. I figured I could buy clothes at a thrift store when I got there and also furniture, so I checked my books, used a backpack as a carry-on, and a big purse (that was still allowed then and wasn’t counted as a carry-on). Why books? Because some of them I had had since university days and the characters and memories were dear to me. All I had to do to cheer myself up was look at the spines of those books on the shelf and I could remember without even reading it again. Bibliophiles will know what I mean.
Crossing Canada from Quebec to Alberta didn’t seem like a long way, because all I saw were clouds under us. Pretty boring. No sense of going from one province to another. A long wait in Calgary – also boring – because the airport,for me, was just like a big mall. I went round and round, window shopping, eating, sitting, round some more – I think it was three hours. Then the real adventure began….
Crossing Canada from Quebec to Alberta didn’t seem like a long way, because all I saw were clouds under us. Pretty boring. No sense of going from one province to another. A long wait in Calgary – also boring – because the airport,for me, was just like a big mall. I went round and round, window shopping, eating, sitting, round some more – I think it was three hours. Then the real adventure began….
EPISODE 9 Waddaya See, Waddaya Know, Waddaya Say?
That old Italian (Sicilian?) saying in the title kinda sums it up for me. I came to Quebec, I knew triumphs and sorrow, and now I said to myself: “What now?” It had never occurred to me that, once free, I could do anything I wanted. I had a Master’s Degree from Concordia University in Montreal and had been teaching College English Lit. and English as a Second Language, but became redundant when the Quebec government cut funding and the English department was the first to be cut. I was very close to being full time, but since I started late in life (mid-thirties), I couldn’t possibly catch up to my colleagues. (More on that later – perhaps for another blog or “memoirs.”
So – here I was with a degree and teaching experience, a whole house-building, self-sufficiency adventure behind me, a free woman to go anywhere and do anything I pleased – within the bounds of my health caused by two heart attacks and lung problems of a past smoker. I was on government assistance to get back on my feet and finding it difficult to be committed to any full-time work, I was at a loss as to what to do with my life.
Everyone needs friends and I had the best. An educated, intelligent, wonderful woman named Monic who got me moving when I was paralyzed with indecision. Also my siblings – a sister and a brother – encouraged me to visit and meet them. I couldn’t afford that but I COULD have a garage sale and jump on a plane for parts west.
So – here I was with a degree and teaching experience, a whole house-building, self-sufficiency adventure behind me, a free woman to go anywhere and do anything I pleased – within the bounds of my health caused by two heart attacks and lung problems of a past smoker. I was on government assistance to get back on my feet and finding it difficult to be committed to any full-time work, I was at a loss as to what to do with my life.
Everyone needs friends and I had the best. An educated, intelligent, wonderful woman named Monic who got me moving when I was paralyzed with indecision. Also my siblings – a sister and a brother – encouraged me to visit and meet them. I couldn’t afford that but I COULD have a garage sale and jump on a plane for parts west.
EPISODE 8 CEMETERIES AND SORROWS
Hello loyal readers. I have had a lung infection – my excuse for not posting in the last few days. Am feeling much better now. Well enough to go through a box of physical photos. I will be uploading one on
http://www.canadianheadstones.com and on ancestry.com.
I guess you would like to hear what happened with my brother Bill and my marriage and my son. Bill and I kept in contact, my marriage fizzled, we lost the house, and we both moved on. As for my son, we lost contact. As I said, I thought I had lost him forever and that he would never speak to me again. He may have thought the same thing. Whatever – we had no contact for many years.
I moved to a small village in Quebec close to where my husband lived so we could get together with our lawyer and get things handled easily. It was awkward, but amicable. We only needed one lawyer.
During this time, Bill had been given the name of our father and I put up the name on the internet and got a hit from a geneology forum. I was so excited! I replied and then a disappointment – that person said she was not the person I was looking for. Months later I got a hit from another woman – the former one’s sister – saying “We need to talk.” Turns out that I had, indeed, connected with the right person. For the next two years we corresponded by email and finally exchanged phone numbers. When I got a call from my sister I was excited and relaxed all at the same time. (Skype wasn’t in the picture at that time). We are both chatterboxes it turns out and we talked for at least two hours long distance from Alberta (her) to Quebec (me). In the next few months, pictures were exchanged and it was agreed that Bill and I DID belong to that family. We both looked so much like our father. What followed was truly an adventure…….
http://www.canadianheadstones.com and on ancestry.com.
I guess you would like to hear what happened with my brother Bill and my marriage and my son. Bill and I kept in contact, my marriage fizzled, we lost the house, and we both moved on. As for my son, we lost contact. As I said, I thought I had lost him forever and that he would never speak to me again. He may have thought the same thing. Whatever – we had no contact for many years.
I moved to a small village in Quebec close to where my husband lived so we could get together with our lawyer and get things handled easily. It was awkward, but amicable. We only needed one lawyer.
During this time, Bill had been given the name of our father and I put up the name on the internet and got a hit from a geneology forum. I was so excited! I replied and then a disappointment – that person said she was not the person I was looking for. Months later I got a hit from another woman – the former one’s sister – saying “We need to talk.” Turns out that I had, indeed, connected with the right person. For the next two years we corresponded by email and finally exchanged phone numbers. When I got a call from my sister I was excited and relaxed all at the same time. (Skype wasn’t in the picture at that time). We are both chatterboxes it turns out and we talked for at least two hours long distance from Alberta (her) to Quebec (me). In the next few months, pictures were exchanged and it was agreed that Bill and I DID belong to that family. We both looked so much like our father. What followed was truly an adventure…….
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